


My Small Joy

by WorldofFae



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Pregnancy, Romance, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 08:07:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23847934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorldofFae/pseuds/WorldofFae
Summary: Six months ago Aelin got the worst news of her life. She would never be able to get pregnant, to give birth to a baby that she so desperately wanted. Deciding that Aelin needs some fun in her life, Lysandra takes her out to a club where she meets the silver haired man of her dreams. A one-night stand takes a turn when 6 weeks later Aelin finds out she’s pregnant! Her world is turned upside down when she runs into him again at a coffee shop. Aelin tells him the truth and this handsome stranger tells her he wants to raise their baby together and she agrees.*Not every chapter contains explicit material
Relationships: Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Rowan Whitethorn
Comments: 15
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I've decided to start uploading my stories on here as well. So, feel free to search here or on my tumblr for my stuff!  
> Not every chapter will contain explicit material but chapter one will definitely be one of those chapters! ;)

Chapter 1: (This chapter contains explicit material)

The music at the club was so loud Aelin could feel it vibrating through the floor.

She hadn’t wanted to come out tonight. All she wanted to do was stay at home and eat ice cream in her pajamas. But Lysandra had insisted she needed to get out. Actually, she had insisted that Aelin needed to get laid. It had been six months since her and Choal’s ugly breakup and she had yet to get back out there. 

It’s not that she was hung up on Chaol. No, their nine month relationship had ended long before they called it quits. Aelin wasn’t really feeling like going out for a different reason. A reason she didn’t feel like thinking about right now.

“Come on, cheer up!” Lysandra said as they made their way through the club. “At least give it a shot before you give up entirely.”

Aelin sighed and linked her arm through Lysandra’s. “Then I suggest we go to the bar and get some drinks in me.”

A wicked smile spread across Lysandra’s face as she began pushing through the crowd in earnest. Once they were seated at the bar and had ordered a couple shots, Aelin turned to Lysandra.

“You really don’t have to stay here with me.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m here for moral support. You’re the one that needs to get laid, not me, remember?”

“Ugh,” Aelin groaned. “Please don’t remind me that you and my cousin have sex. I love that you two are dating but I don’t want to hear about that!”

Lysandra giggled and nodded her thanks to the bartender as he slid their shots to them. She picked up hers and handed Aelin hers. “Cheers.”

A couple drinks in and the two of them found themselves on the dancefloor. Lysandra was right - it did feel great to get out. Maybe she wouldn’t find anybody to sleep with tonight but at least she was having fun for the first time in a long while. She could feel the sweat sliding down her spine and feel her heart racing as she writhed her body to the beat of the music, her long golden hair glowing in the club lights. The smile on her face didn’t feel so forced tonight.

“I’m gonna get something to drink,” Aelin shouted over the music to Lysandra. “You want anything?”

Lysandra kept dancing as she shouted back her reply, “I’ll totally take another tequila shot!”

Aelin laughed and patted her friends back as she squeezed her way through the crowd to get back to the bar. She leaned against the bar to get the bartender’s attention and ordered more shots. She felt somebody come up beside her and order drinks as well. The deep rumble of his voice vibrated through her body and she could make out an accent. She glanced out the corner of her eye and saw what had to be the sexiest man she had ever seen. He was 6 foot something and she could see his muscles through his semi-tight dark green t-shirt. His hair, so blonde it was silver, was close cropped on the sides.

He shifted and looked around the bar before his eyes landed on her. Holy shit, was he gorgeous. He had a ruggedly handsome face and beautiful green eyes. From where she was leaning against the bar, she watched as those eyes traced up and down her body, making a brief pause at the deep v of the dress and again at the generous curve of her backside, before they finally landed on her own. She had been unsure of wearing such a tight dress since she wasn’t planning on actually sleeping with anybody tonight. After seeing this handsome stranger look at her like this, however, she was beginning to think differently.

Aelin smiled seductively at him. “Well, hello there,” she drawled as she looked him up and down for show. She watched as one of his eyebrows raised and a small smile played at the edge of his lips.

“Well, hello to you too.” He had leaned in a bit so she could hear him over the loud music, his accent heavy enough that she knew he wasn’t from here. She could smell pine and snow (cologne, maybe?) wafting from him. God, everything about him was turning her on. 

Aelin opened her mouth to say something else when the bartender came back with both their drinks. She threw back her shot and then Lysandra’s. She heard the stranger chuckle beside her and watched as he threw back his own drink before turning to her.

“Rowan,” he said, extending a hand towards her.

“Aelin,” she replied, sliding her hand into his and gently gripping it. Their hands stayed linked and they stared into each other’s eyes, the tension palpable. Aelin had no idea what her deal was. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe because she hadn’t had sex in so long, but she twisted her body so she was facing him and placed her hand on his chest. 

Surprise flashed briefly in his eyes before he slid his own hand on her waist and pulled her close. He leaned down so their mouths were only inches apart and he glanced from her eyes to her lips as if checking to make sure this was okay. Aelin took a step forward so their bodies were pressed up against each other and stood on her tiptoes to press her lips to his. His hand tightened on her waist as his other hand slid up to her neck so he could kiss her deeper.

His lips were so soft against hers. The way his body felt pressed up against hers felt right, like they were two pieces of a puzzle that were supposed to fit together. She could feel the solid muscle of his chest ripple beneath her fingers as he slid his hand from her waist and down to smooth across her ass. Aelin couldn’t help the small moan that escaped her mouth.

At the same moment they both seemed to realize where they were and pulled away from each other. Aelin swept her gaze across the club until she found what she was looking for. She grabbed Rowan’s hand, smiled wickedly, and said, “Come with me.”

Rowan’s eyes followed where she had looked and looked back at her with a look that had her core burning. He followed behind her, keeping a tight grip on her hand, as they made their way through the club to the restroom. Aelin glanced over her shoulder at Rowan and found him staring at her backside, his lower lip between his teeth. She felt her cheeks heat up as he slid his gaze back up at her. She tightened her grip on his hand and set a faster pace to the door.

Aelin pushed open the door to the restroom. A quick look around told her that somehow, nobody was using it. Luckily, Lysandra had taken them to the more expensive side of town and there were multiple bathrooms throughout the club. She had aimed for the one in the least populated area and it seems that she had chosen correctly. She turned around to say something smart to Rowan but he slid his hands to both sides of her face and kissed her. 

Aelin parted her lips and swept her tongue out at his lips. Gods, he tasted so good. She stumbled back, never breaking the kiss, walking backwards until they were both inside the biggest stall. Rowan shut it behind them and locked the door. He flipped them so Aelin’s back was pressed up against the stall door and slid his hand to her thigh, gripping it before sliding his hand to her backside again. A breathy moan escaped her lips and her head fell back against the door.

Rowan took advantage of her exposed neck and nipped at her jaw before running his tongue up her throat. She felt his teeth scrape lightly and her gut tightened. His hands moved from her ass up her body, sliding up her sides before gently palming her breasts. Everywhere he touched left her skin burning. Aelin felt like she was on fire, hot and bright, with no end in sight. She wrapped her fingers in Rowan’s hair and brought his lips back to hers, their tongues tangling together, her teeth gently tugging on his bottom lip.

Aelin’s head was spinning and she wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol she had consumed or from the taste and feel of this man that she had just met. She could feel how flushed her cheeks were but she didn’t care. Rowan looked just as disheveled as she felt anyways. His lips were pink and swollen from her kisses and bites, his hair a mess from her fingers running through them, eyes bright and completely focused on her. 

Feeling brave, Aelin slid her hands from Rowan’s hair, dragging them down his chest and groaning at the feel of his muscles under her long fingers. Her hands continued down until she found the waistband of his pants and she slid to her knees, her fingers undoing the button of his jeans.

Aelin lifted her head so she was looking at his face as she began pulling down his zipper. His chest was rising and falling heavily as he fought to catch his breath. Aelin slipped her hands into the waistband of his pants and underwear, gripping them, and asked, “Is this okay?”

Rowan let out a guttural “Yes” and Aelin smiled as she pulled them down enough that his cock sprang out. Her mouth went dry as the sheer size of him, hard and ready for her. She felt heat pool between her thighs and she squeezed them together as she reached out a hand and lightly trailed her fingers across him before fully gripping it. Rowan groaned and let his eyes fall shut as she began slowly pumping her hand up and down his cock. She gripped it with both her hands and looked him in the eye as she smiled and rubbed the tip across her lips. Rowan’s cock twitched as she slid her tongue out to lick up the underside before taking him into her mouth.

The sounds leaving Rowan’s mouth only spurred Aelin on, taking him deeper and deeper into her throat, tongue licking him as she sucked, her hands moving on whatever she couldn’t take. Rowan’s hand slid into her hair, gathering it into his palm and gripping it. He held her in place as he rocked his hips and fucked her mouth. She moaned around him, focusing on her breathing so she wouldn’t gag. She looked up and found Rowan staring down at her and locked eyes with him as he continued thrusting his hips.

With a final groan, Rowan used the hand gripping her hair to gently pull Aelin to her feet. She let go of his cock with a soft gasp, a little bit of saliva dripping down the corner of her mouth. He slid his hand to her jaw, grasping it as he pressed his lips to hers again. He kissed her heatedly for a few seconds before pulling her away from the stall door and moving her towards the wall. He ran his hands down her body until he reached the bottom of her skin tight dress. “Is this okay?” he murmured in a low voice, his fingers playing with the hem. 

Aelin kissed him again and answered by pulling her dress up enough that she could remove her red thong. Rowan’s eyes tracked the movement as she held them up by one finger, dangling them near their heads. She smirked and dropped it before saying, “I really hope you brought a condom.”

Rowan chuckled, the sound a deep rumble she didn’t think she could ever tire of, and leaned down to grab something from the pants still clinging to his thighs. He pulled out a condom from the back pocket and ripped it open, sliding it onto his thick cock. Aelin turned back to face the wall and leaned her hands against the cool tile and looked over her shoulder at him, gently swaying her ass so he’d get a good look at her generous curves. 

Rowan growled and pulled her dress up to her hips, his hand gripping her backside as he leaned over her, his free hand braced on the wall beside her own. “Last chance, love. You still okay with this?”

Aelin loved the fact that he kept asking her if she was okay with his advances. This stranger was proving to not only be sexy as hell but kind and considerate as well. The thought only made her desire stronger.

Aelin made eye contact with Rowan from where she was still looking over her shoulder. She could see the hunger simmering in eyes, the same reflected in her own. “Yes, I am absolutely okay with you fucking me until I can’t see straight,” she breathed. “Is that enough of an answer or-”

The rest of her words were cut off with a loud moan as he thrust into her and filled her completely. He stayed still for a few moments, letting her adjust and catch her breath, before he began moving, setting a steady pace. Aelin couldn’t stop the moans falling from her lips with every jerk of his hips. 

Rowan brought his lips to her ear and murmured, “If you keep being that loud somebody’s going to come and see what’s going on.” 

His hand tightened on her ass as he thrusted roughly into her, her head falling back as she let out a gasp. Aelin bit her lip and nodded, trying to keep quiet. She felt Rowan smile against her ear and moved his hand from the wall to gently grasp her neck and pull her body upright. Aelin moved her hands so one was wrapped around the wrist holding her throat and the other reached back to rest against his thigh, her fingers digging in as she fought for breath against his dizzying pace. The new position allowed Rowan to go deeper and Aelin felt the pressure building in her core.

She could hear his soft groans behind her and was glad to know he was struggling to keep quiet like she was.

“God, you’re so fucking wet, Aelin,” he ground out roughly, what sounded like an Irish accent only getting heavier.

The hand on her backside slid around her body and between her legs, his fingers quickly circling her sensitive nub. A cry escaped her lips before she could stop it and the hand around her throat tightened ever so slightly. The sensation of him pounding into her, how much he filled her, and the feel of his fingers on her was too much. She felt like she might combust from the pure pleasure of it. 

Her release barrelled through her, fireworks spotting in her vision and her thighs shaking. Rowan released his hold on her throat and she gasped for air, hands falling back against the wall. He thrust into her a few more times before letting out a groan as he came. He continued as they both came down from their highs before coming to a halt. Rowan leaned over her again and rested his forehead against her shoulder and tried to steady his breathing.

She felt Rowan press a soft kiss to her skin before he pulled out of her. Aelin turned around and faced him, pulling down her dress and readjusting her hair as Rowan discarded the condom and pulled up his pants. She picked up her underwear from the floor and walked over to Rowan. He slid his arms around her waist and brushed his lips against hers. Aelin smiled and pressed her lips against his for one last kiss. She wrapped her hands around his body and slipped her thong into his back pocket, pulling away as she did so.

Aelin made her way for the stall door, throwing one last look over her shoulder at the extremely handsome stranger she just had sex with. His hair was still disheveled and his cheeks flushed, confusion clear on his face.

“Just something to remember me when you get lonely,” she said as she slipped out the door and shut it behind her, leaving Rowan behind. Aelin left the bathroom right as a group of very drunk girls stumbled in talking loudly. She smiled to herself as she made her way back to the dancefloor knowing that he was going to be stuck there until they left.

She searched around for Lysandra and eventually found her back at the bar, her phone in hand as she typed furiously at it. She snuck up behind her and whispered in her ear, “Hey.”

Lysandra jumped in her seat and whirled around. Her wide eyes narrowed in anger as she took in Aelin and her smirk. “Where the hell have you been?” she demanded.

The smile fell from Aelin’s face as she realized what was happening. She hadn’t even considered what Lysandra might have thought to her just disappearing. She noticed how tense her shoulders were, the grip she had on her phone, the slight shine in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry Lys. I didn’t even think to say anything.” Guilt gnawed at her gut, shame at leaving her friend alone in a club dimming her post-sex glee. “When I went to get us some drinks I met this guy and we kinda…,” Aelin trailed off, her teeth catching her lower lip.

Understanding sparked in Lysandra’s eyes and some of the anger melted away. She leaned forward and said, “Wait, you got laid?!”

Aelin laughed and shushed her friend, pulling her away from the bar and towards the entrance of the club. “Yes, yes, now lower your voice! I’ll tell you all about it when we get to my place.”

“Well, I’m still angry at you but at least you got what we came here for.” Lysandra waggled her eyebrows at Aelin and she laughed. 

As they pushed open the front door Aelin looked around the club one last time, searching for the wonderful stranger that she had just spent her night moaning for, and had to admit that she was a little disappointed when she didn’t spot his head of silver hair.

Aelin couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this light. There may have been things weighing down her mind lately, making it hard to be happy, but for the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel like she was drowning. She breathed in the cold November air as they left the club, letting her worries melt away.

6 weeks later

Aelin paced back and forth through her bathroom, anxiety eating away at her. She bit on her thumb as her mind went haywire. She knew that it couldn’t be true and she was trying to keep her hopes down. Maybe it wasn’t hope though - maybe it was her being scared that it could be true.

The sound of the timer on her phone halted her steps and she turned towards the counter. She looked down at the stick and stared in disbelief at the pink plus sign that was taunting her for the third time that day.

This was impossible. They had used a condom. It wasn’t possible that there was a positive on that test. This was all a lie, a dream.

There was no way for her to be pregnant. Shortly after she and Chaol had broken up she had gone for her yearly OBGYN appointment. They ran tests after she had complained about some pain in her uterus and told her that it would be impossible for her to ever bear a child. That she would never be able to get pregnant. 

It was impossible that what had weighed so heavily on her, sent her spiraling knowing she would never be able to have a family like she so desperately wanted, so desperately longed for, was a lie.

It was impossible for that cursed stick to be showing her that little pink plus sign.

It was impossible.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: (This chapter has brief mention of sex)

“So you’re like, 100 percent sure that you’re pregnant?” Lysandra asked from where she stood at Aelin’s kitchen counter, drinking deeply from the glass of wine she had just poured for herself.

Aelin gritted her teeth. “I’ve taken like seven different tests seven different times Lysandra. They all tell me that I am but I still feel like I’m going crazy, so you tell me.”

Aelin flopped back on her couch, tossing her arm across her face.

Six weeks ago she had had the best sex of her life. Absolutely mind-blowing sex that had made her legs shake with the force of her orgasm. Sex with and amazing stranger with muscles fit for a Greek god that had supplied many memories that had her hands between her legs and her head thrown back late at night.

Things had been so great up until this point that she hadn’t seen it coming. Of course there was no way she could stay that happy without anything bad happening. 

To be fair, she had yet to decide if this was bad or not. On one hand, she had been told that she would never have a baby and now she was pregnant when she thought she would never have that. But on the other hand, she was suddenly pregnant and by herself. She knew that Lysandra and Aedion would always be there for her, but it wasn’t the same as being with your partner. She had imagined doing this with Sam on more than one occasion and the thought of going through this without him…

The biggest reason was one Aelin didn’t want to admit to herself just yet: that she wanted this baby more than anything, even if she did have to do it alone, and that she was terrified that this was a fluke and she would lose this thing she wanted so bad before it even had a chance to begin.

“Well, this is good news then, isn’t it?” Lysandra asked. She had walked over and moved Aelin’s feet out of the way to sit down. “You were so devastated when the doctors told you that you wouldn’t be able to have a baby.”

“I know, but I’m so fucking scared Lys.” Aelin’s voice broke as tears threatened to fall. She took a deep, steadying breath and sat up. “What if this is just a fluke? That I did somehow manage to get pregnant but I end up losing the baby?” 

The tears flowed freely now despite Aelin’s best efforts to wipe them away. Lysandra set her wine glass on the table and took Aelin’s hands in her own.

“Hey, hey,” she soothed, squeezing Aelin’s hands. “It’s okay to be excited. No matter the outcome, this is an amazing thing, Aelin. And Aedion and I will be here for you every step of the way.” A smile graced Lysandra’s lips. “You know, when you told us I thought Aedion was going to freak the fuck out. After we left, he cried in the car saying how happy he was for you.”

Aelin sobbed harder.

“We’re both here for you. There’s no getting rid of us,” Lysandra said, laughter in her voice. She raised Aelin’s face and wiped away her tears. 

“Ugh,” Aelin sniffled. She pulled her best friend into a hug. “How did I get so lucky to have you two idiots in my life?”

Lysandra threw her head back in laughter and Aelin couldn’t help but laugh too.

All Aelin wanted was a cup of coffee. Unfortunately, she could only drink decaf and that wasn’t cutting it. She had one more class to do a final for before she was done with the semester and officially done with school. And then working on the mountains of applications she had to hopefully work her dream job. But for now, she just needed a cup of coffee. Hopefully it would at least make her think she had caffeine in her system.

New York this time of year was packed more than usual. It was mid-december and it seemed everybody was wanting something to warm them up. The line to her favorite coffee shop was to the door and she had to squeeze her way in. She let her eyes roam around the small space in hopes of finding a spot to sit. 

Her search came to an abrupt stop as they landed on a muscular figure with silver hair standing in line. Aelin felt her breath catch as her heartbeat sped up. There was no way he was here. In her little hole in the wall coffee shop. But sure enough, there he was, smile on his face as he laughed at something his curly haired companion said. She never thought she would see him again.

Before she realized what she was doing, Aelin had moved from her spot in line and was right next to him, hand reaching out to tap his shoulder lightly. Rowan turned around, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Aelin?”

“Hey,” was all she could think of to say as her head emptied out. Wait, what was she doing? What was she going to say to him? Hey, I know we don’t actually know each other and had a one-night-stand 6 weeks ago, but I’m totally pregnant so surprise, you’re gonna be a dad?

Recognition lit in Rowan’s companion’s eyes and a wicked smile formed on his lips. “I’ll give you two some time. See you back at the office, Rowan.” He started walking towards the door, waving a hand in the air. “And don’t forget my coffee!”

Rowan scoffed as he watched the door shut behind his friend. He turned that beautiful gaze of his on her, a slight blush gracing his cheeks as he offered her a small smile. “I wasn’t expecting to ever run into you again. How have you been?”

Aelin managed to choke out a laugh. “Um, I’ve been good. Well, I was doing great and then…” she trailed off, not knowing how to continue that sentence. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been pretty good.” His eyes searched her face for a second before he continued, “I’m actually glad I ran into you. I-”

“I’m pregnant,” Aelin blurted. She watched as he blinked a couple of times. She slid her hands into her jacket pocket to try and hide their shaking. She looked down at the ground, a shaky laugh escaping her. “Oh shit, that was awkward. Um,” she stammered, removing her hand from her pocket to rub at her neck. “Forget I ever said anything. I should probably get going.”

She turned to leave, feeling like an idiot for dropping that bomb on him so suddenly, and stopped mid-turn when he gently grasped her elbow. Aelin slowly turned back towards him and continued staring at the ground instead of him.

“Do you want some coffee?” 

The question threw her off guard and her eyes snapped up to his face. She found him watching her, a gentle expression on his face. He inclined his head to the counter where they were next in line. “My treat,” he said.

Aelin opened and closed her mouth, feeling like a fish out of water, before she clamped it shut and nodded. They stepped up to the counter and took their order before moving off to the side to wait. They were both quiet as they stood side-by-side, their arms brushing.

She kept glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. How was he so calm? She’d been freaking out since she saw that positive. Why had he not said anything?

After what felt like hours, the barista finally called Rowan’s name and he took both their drinks from him and handed Aelin hers. He nodded towards the door, a silent invitation to follow him as he headed for it. 

They walked through the cold for a little while before coming to a quieter spot near some trees. Rowan sat down on the bench and Aelin followed suit.

“Please say something”, Aelin finally said. “If you keep staying that quiet I’m going to go crazy.”

Rowan chuckled, bringing his coffee to his lips. He took a sip before asking, “When did you find out?”

She turned her body towards him. “A couple of days ago.”

Rowan nodded. “So, I guess the condom was useless.”

A smile tugged at the corner of her lip at his joke. A beat of silence followed before she said, “I understand if you’re freaking out. I honestly didn’t think I was ever going to see you again so I didn’t think out what I should say to you if I ever did, so I know I did this all wrong. You don’t have to be involved at all and-”

“I’m going to cut you off right there,” Rowan chuckled, the deep rumble vibrating through her bones. “You look incredibly nervous so let me help you.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, coffee cup dangling in his hands, and looked her in the eye. 

It took everything in her being to hold his gaze and not look down at his lips. Serious conversation time. Right. 

Rowan continued, seemingly oblivious to her roaming mind, “I will go with whatever you decide you want to do. Ultimately this is your decision as you’re the one having to carry this baby. But I will say that if you decide you want to keep it, I would be so incredibly honored if you allowed me to be a part of their life and help raise them.”

Aelin’s breath caught in her throat and she searched his eyes for a trap. All she could see was determination and truth glittering in his eyes. “Why?” she whispered. “You don’t even know me and you’re willing to raise a child with me?”

Rowan finally broke his gaze and leaned back into the bench. He looked at the ground as he said, “You’re right that we barely know each other. I… I had a wife.” Aelin felt her heart ache with a familiar pain at the tone of his voice. It was filled with so much hurt. “She was 5 months pregnant with our son when she was killed by a drunk driver on her way home from work. That was five years ago and not something anybody but my closest friends and family knows.”

Rowan finally glanced back at her before he quickly looked away, silver lining his eyes. Emotion got caught in her throat and she took a shaky breath. A tear slipped down her cheek that she quickly wiped away. Flashes of a young, smiling face ran through her mind. She remembered that joy and happiness of being in love and wanting to have a family together. Of having that dream shattered. So with her broken heart she offered up a bit of truth herself.

“I want this baby more than anything. 6 months ago I was told I would never be able to get pregnant.” Rowan straightened and finally looked at her again. “And now somehow I am and I’m so fucking terrified it’s all just a fluke, and that I’m going to lose this baby. I’ve wanted a family for so long… and I don’t think I can bear another heartbreak.” This time it was Aelin that avoided looking at Rowan and instead looked at her shaking hands wrapped around her coffee cup.

She could feel Rowan’s eyes on her face. He gently took one of her hands in his and put his other hand under her chin and raised her face to look at him. “Then we agree. Let’s get to know each other while we wait to meet our baby.”

There was a sparkle in his eyes that Aelin couldn’t place. Or maybe she just didn’t want to admit what it might be. But she felt the endless weight over her heart lift, just a little. And something like joy shone in it’s spot.

“Yes, please. I would love that,” Aelin said, a smile blooming on her lips.

Rowan stared at her, dumbstruck, before a smile of his own appeared. A promise of what was to come, what she might finally have and Aelin let that quiet joy take over. At least for now, maybe she should be allowed to be happy.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: 

The semester ended and just like that, Aelin was officially done with college. At least that was one less thing for her to worry about. Between working at the bookstore and trying to find an internship Aelin spent almost all of her free time with Rowan.

It had been six weeks since she found out she was pregnant and had run into him again. It had been six weeks of them slowly opening up to one another and telling each other secrets they had kept hidden for so long.

Aelin learned that outside of Rowan’s sexy and brooding exterior, he was actually incredibly kind and sweet. He was born in Ireland and lived there up until three years ago. When he was younger his father’s job would often send him to America to work so they would spend a few months of the year there before going home to Ireland.

He told her about his wife that was killed by a drunk driver. They had met in high school and dated throughout college before they got married. She was a month pregnant by the time they had their wedding. After she died, Rowan had spiraled for a couple of years. He sold their house and lived on his own in a shitty apartment. His friends, the people he currently worked with, had convinced him to come and work with them. Their company relocated them to New York and he’s been living here for the last three years.

He worked for a photography company. Rowan showed her some of his photos and he was pretty damn good. 

Aelin spilled her guts about her own past. She was terrified he would decide he had made a mistake and would run out of her life. Besides Lysandra, her own friends didn’t know everything she had done. Not even Aedion. But Rowan took it in stride and held her hand through it all. He didn’t judge her, just looked at her with understanding that she did what she had to to survive.

She lost her parents when she was twelve years old. The foster system had trouble contacting any known family since her aunt, Aedion’s mom, and her own mother weren’t on talking terms. So they placed Aelin in a group home that was under the careful watch of a now known criminal, Arobynn Hamel.

The group home is where she had met Lysandra and Sam. They got there about a year after she started living there. Arobynn trained Aelin to be a petty thief. Trained all of them. Told them that if they wanted to continue living in such a nice place with somebody that cared about them, they had to earn their keep. By the time Aelin turned 18 and was able to leave, she was scary good at stealing.

At first, she hated Sam and Lysandra. But she and Sam were the best at being criminals so they were often teamed up for jobs. And they ended up falling in love. He was a year older than her and was able to leave the home before she could. He went to academy to become a cop. He said he wanted to right all the wrong he was forced to do.

When Aelin turned 18, she moved in with Sam. Aelin worked at a disgusting bar illegally to help pay for the apartment. She and Sam talked about what their life would be like, about how much they loved each other and how excited they were for a day they could start their own family.

Sam was officially a cop and had begun working to uncover the truth about who Arobynn Hamel was. He was the lead officer in the bust that led to Arobynn being arrested. But Arobynn knew they were coming and put up a fight. Sam was shot and killed during the bust.

Aelin had sat up waiting for him to come home. It was around midnight that she got the call saying Sam had been fatally shot. She had fallen to her knees on the spot and screamed at what had been stolen from her. For what had been stolen from the nineteen year old that had his whole life ahead of him. She ended up robbing a pawn shop and stealing a gun. She was mad with grief and tried to break into the jail they were holding Arobynn at to kill him. She didn’t make it far before she was arrested.

Aelin ended up spending a few months in jail. Lysandra was the one that picked her up when she got out. She had heard about what happened to Sam and her. She offered Aelin a place to live. She said she didn’t want to hold onto the anger that was fed to them from Arobynn and Aelin agreed.

A few months later and Adeion had shown up at her doorstep. Her cousin had finally tracked her down and found out where she was. He moved into town and they got to know each other again.

She had never even told Chaol about going to jail. Once when they were dating he had locked himself out of his apartment. Aelin had picked the lock to open the door and he made it very clear that he wanted no part in any illegal activities. So she had kept her past hidden to him and he had never asked. No wonder their relationship crashed and burned.

A chime from her phone brought Aelin back to the present. She pulled it out of her pocket to find a text from Rowan.

Saw this and thought you might like it.

Attached was a photo of a small puppy with its butt in the air and paws splayed out in front of it, tongue hanging out while it stared at a caterpillar.

She felt her lips pull into a smile. She was beginning to form a reply of her own when she heard a familiar voice call her name.

“Aelin?”

She looked up from her phone to see Dorian walking towards her. His face brightened up when she saw him. Shit, she thought.

She hadn’t seen him since that party right after she and Chaol had broken up. When she had just found out the news that she wouldn’t be able to bear a child and had been a mess. They probably all thought she was broken over their break-up.

“Hey, Dorian. How are you?” she asked, trying to sound cheerful. 

“I’m good. But, how are you? I haven’t seen you in forever. What’s it been, like half a year?” Dorian said. He leaned in and wrapped Aelin in a big hug.

“Yeah, something like that,” she forced out.

Dorian looked at her up and down and Aelin was grateful for the thick jacket she was wearing to ward off the cold January air. She was beginning to show a little and she wasn’t ready for that conversation.

His eyes softened as he said, “We all really miss you, Aelin.”

“I’m really sorry I haven’t been around. These last few months have been… difficult. I had some things I needed to work through.”

He nodded. “I get it. I’m actually having a birthday party tonight, if you’d maybe come? Aedion and Lysandra will be there. I had asked Lysandra to ask you to come but I had never heard back.”

Aelin opened up her mouth to make an excuse and realized she had none. “Um, yeah, I can try to be there.”

Dorian perked up a little at that and smiled at her. “Great. It’s at my place at 8.”

Aelin felt panic begin clawing its way through her chest at the thought of having to go alone. So she said, “Could I bring a friend?”

Surprise flashed across his face. “Yeah, that’s fine with me. It’ll just be the usual gang so the more the merrier.”

Aelin smiled a small smile and nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you tonight then. I gotta go though. Doctor’s appointment.”

They hugged again and went their separate ways.

Aelin pulled her phone out as she continued walking down the street and sent a text to Rowan.

Hey, how would you feel about going to a party with me tonight?

She watched the ellipses pop up as she opened the door to her doctor’s office and walked inside. A party? An odd request for somebody who can’t drink.

I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out of it. It’s for a birthday party. What do you say, Buzzard? You in?

“Your wish is my command,” a deep and accented voice said in her ear.

Aelin jumped at the sound of his voice. “Shit you scared me,” she said as she smacked Rowan’s arm.

He chuckled and walked with her as she got checked in at the front desk. They sat down and waited for her name to be called.

“I ran into Dorian on the way here,” Aelin said, her knee bouncing.

“Oh?” Rowan’s brows rose. 

She nodded. “The birthday party is for him. I got a bit nervous about going by myself.”

A moment of silence passed between them before Rowan said, “Why not ask Lysandra or Aedion to go with you?”

“They’re already going to be there.” Rowan had already met the two of them and he and Aedion got along a lot better than Aelin thought they would. “You can say no to going, you know.”

“That’s not why I asked,” Rowan said softly when he noticed the change in Aelin’s tone. “Me being there will just bring up questions and I didn’t know if that was something you were ready for.”

Aelin took a deep breath. Rowan was just trying to be thoughtful. She needed to stop jumping to conclusions and assume he was trying to find an out. He had more than proven how badly he wanted this baby too. 

So instead she shook her head and said, “I know. But I’d really like for them to meet you anyways. I’m going to have to come clean about this pregnancy at some point and that will just start the whole, ‘Well who’s the father?’ questions.”

“So I’m the one being outed now.” Rowan’s chuckle sent shivers down Aelin’s spine and she tried her best to keep it from showing.

“I’ll just introduce you as my friend. They don’t need to know that part yet. But I do miss them. And I don’t want to hide the shit I’ve been dealing with anymore.”

She felt Rowan’s gaze on her and she snuck a glance at him. There was a softness in his eyes and smile that had her breath catching in her throat. She had done her best to ignore the feelings he brought up in her. And she had caught him on more than one occasion giving her the same heated looks she gave him when he wasn’t looking to know he felt the same. The agreement was to get to know each other first. They had their baby to think about.

“Galythinius?”

Aelin tore her eyes from Rowan to look at the nurse that called her name. She stood up and Rowan did the same before they followed the nurse to her room. Aelin got settled on the bed and waited for the doctor.

“Hello. Are you Aelin Galythinius? I’m doctor Towers. It’s nice to meet you,” the doctor said. She was beautiful with her long, curly hair and golden skin. She gave Aelin a smile as she nodded.

“I know this pregnancy has been a bit scary so far. But today is a day to celebrate. You’re at 12 weeks so you’re officially done with your first trimester! The chances for a miscarriage are much lower. Are you excited to see your baby today?” Doctor Towers asked as she set up the ultrasound machine.

“I am so excited. Still scared though.” Aelin blew out a breath and smoothed a hand over her small bump.

Dr. Towers glanced up beneath long lashes at Rowan before getting settled in her chair. “And are you the father?”

Rowan nodded and looked at Aelin. “Yes I am. And I am also very excited to see our baby today.” He took Aelin’s hand and smiled. Gods he was so handsome.

Dr. Towers nodded and put on her gloves. “Okay, let’s get started then. If you could pull your shirt up a bit and unbutton your pants for me, Ms. Galythinius. Yes, that’s good, thank you. Now this is going to be cold.”

She squirted the ultrasound gel onto her stomach and Aelin flinched a litte. “Shit you weren’t kidding.”

Rowan chuckled and the doctor smiled. She put the wand against Aelin’s abdomen and Aelin squeezed her eyes shut as the doctor began moving it around to find the baby. She heard an intake of breath beside her and opened her eyes to find Rowan leaning down next to her. She saw tears begin forming in his eyes.

“Look, Aelin,” he breathed, his eyes not leaving the screen. “It’s our baby.”

Aelin tore her eyes away from him to look at the screen. She was too scared to look at first. She still felt like this was all some dream she would wake up from soon. But there on the screen was the small bean in gray and white. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling as she took in the tiny figure. 

She pressed her shaking fingers against her lips and let out a little, “Oh. There it is.”

Rowan gently took her hand in his and squeezed. She could feel his own shaking like hers. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Dr. Tower’s froze the screen. “Your baby is looking very healthy. It looks like it’s right on track and there’s nothing to worry about. Just keep doing what you’re doing, okay? Would you like a picture to take home with you?”  
Aelin nodded so fast she thought she would give herself whiplash. “Can we have a few, please?” she whispered, her eyes still not leaving the screen.

The doctor smiled and nodded. “I can do that. I’d like to schedule you for a 16 week check up if that’s alright with you. Since this is a higher risk pregnancy I’d like to have you in for check ups more often than I usually would. I’ll meet you at the front with your pictures.”

Dr. Towers stood and handed Aelin a wipe for her stomach and left them to have a moment to themselves. 

Aelin felt a sob work itself out of her throat and Rowan leaned his forehead against hers. She let herself lean into it, let herself breathe in his pine and snow scent to steady herself. 

After a moment she looked up at Rowan’s face. She could see the tears and happy smile that lit up his face. “Our baby. I can’t fucking believe it,” she said, taking another shuddering breath.

“Our baby,” Rowan echoed.

Aelin laced her fingers with Rowan’s and smiled at him with no restraint. The pure happiness on his face was mirrored on hers and together they looked at the tiny bean that was their small joy.

—–

Hours later and Aelin found herself standing at Dorian’s apartment door. She was fiddling with the zipper of her jacket in anticipation of what was to come. Rowan slid a hand to her lower back and Aelin glanced up at him, grateful for the comfort.

Underneath she wore a red empire waisted dress. It stopped just above her knees and she wore a simple pair of flats. Her hair was half up and half down and it fell in loose waves. Rowan had let out a whistle of appreciation when he had picked her up at her apartment and she tried to hide her blush.

He wasn’t looking too shabby either in his dark green button down shirt and tight pants. Although he could be wearing a trash bag and still be hot as hell. She told him as much and that earned her a blush of his own.

Aelin took a steading breath and nodded before she knocked on the door. She felt Rowan’s hand fall from her back and she found herself missing the contact. But she straightened her spine and stood tall, trying for that old swagger that was slowly coming back to her.

The door swung open and Dorian’s wide grin met them. He faltered slightly when he took Rowan in beside her but recovered. “Aelin! Welcome! This must be your friend.” Dorian shook Rowan’s hand as he continued, “I’ll admit, though, that when Aelin asked if she could bring a friend I assumed it would be a woman.”

Aelin rolled her eyes as she nudged her way into the apartment. “Of course you did. Not getting laid enough these days, Dorian?”

Dorian let out a howl of laughter and shut the door behind them. “Everyone, Aelin’s here!”

They took off their coats and walked out of the entryway hall and into the living room. Seated on the loveseat were Aedion and Lysandra, smiles on both their faces as the latter waved at Aelin and Rowan. On the couch was Chaol and a beautiful woman with golden skin and thick, curly hair pulled up in a bun.

Aelin stopped dead in her tracks as she made eye contact with the woman. Recognition lit up her eyes as she noticed the two of them and Aelin’s eyes fell to Chaol and her hands intertwined. Shit shit shit. 

Her doctor was Chaol’s new girlfriend.

Her hesitation went unnoticed by Dorian as he made introductions. “Aelin, this is Yrene. Yrene, this is Aelin. I’m really hoping Chaol told you about them having dated or this is about to be real awkward.”

Dr. Towers, or Yrene, tried to hide her amused smile. Aelin couldn’t help but let out a rasp of a laugh. She felt Rowan’s steading presence behind her and took a step forward so she didn’t lean into him.

“We’ve met actually. She’s my new OBGYN.”

Chaol’s eyes widened in surprise as he looked between his girlfriend and his ex.

Yrene nodded in confirmation. “It seems this was always going to be a little awkward at first, huh?” Amusement lit her eyes as she looked at Chaol and back at Aelin. 

Oh, Aelin liked this woman.

Chaol turned his eyes to Rowan. He looked like he was about to say something when Dorian interrupted. “And this is… I actually never got your name,” he said, gesturing to Rowan.

Rowan stepped up to Aelin’s side and extended his hand to Dorian and then Chaol. “I’m Rowan. I’m Aelin’s friend.”

She could see how the three others looked at Rowan with questions on the tip of their tongues. Aelin hadn’t come around in seven months and all of a sudden she brought a guy friend with her. She would be curious too.

“An accent,” Dorian said, waggling his eyebrows. “What is that, Scottish?”

“Irish, actually,” Rowan answered. He didn’t supply any more information and silence fell.

“What’s up, man,” Aedion said, breaking the awkward tension. He stood and pulled Rowan into a half hug and clapped him on the back. They said their greetings and Lysandra came up and said hi, smiling and batting her eyelashes at him. Aedion grumbled and Aelin laughed.

“There’s beer in the fridge if you want one,” Aedion said to Rowan, walking into Dorian’s kitchen and helping himself. Rowan gave Aelin a look and shrugged before he followed suit. Aelin tried to hide her smile and failed.

Dorian stood for another second before he seated himself next to Chaol on the couch. Lysandra sat in her spot again and Aelin took a seat on the floor in front of the coffee table.

“I can go grab a chair for you, A,” Dorian said quickly, starting to get up. “I didn’t know if you were going to be able to make it so I didn’t grab it earlier, but-”

Aelin shook her head and he stopped. “I’m okay here.”

Dorian looked unsure but sat down again.

Chaol was the one to speak next. “So, what have you been up to, Aelin? We haven’t seen you since…” he trailed off, looking like he was unsure if he should continue.

Aelin rolled her eyes. “Since shortly after we broke up. You can say it, Choal. And before either of you two try asking,” she said with a pointed look at Dorian and Chaol, “no, I wasn’t a mess last time you saw me because I was hung up on Chaol.”

Dorian leaned forward at that. “Then what was it? Like, shit, A. You two break up and then we see you a month after it and you’re drunk off your ass and tell us all to stop asking you what was wrong. What else were we supposed to think?”

Rowan and Aedion had walked back in as Dorian started talking and they took their respective seats, Rowan sitting down next to Aelin.

Aelin took a deep breath, preparing herself for the conversation she had been dreading. She hated being open and vulnerable.

She felt Rowan’s knee brush against hers as he readjusted himself. She knew it was intentional. To remind her that he was beside her.

“I was a mess at that party because I had just had a doctor’s appointment where I was told I would never be able to get pregnant.”

She watched as Dorian and Chaol’s faces fell. Chaol opened his mouth to say something but Aelin held up a hand.

“Clearly, I didn’t handle the news well. But I should have been honest with you guys instead of pushing all of you away. I realized that and I’m really sorry for doing that.”

Both of them shook their heads. “Aelin,” Dorian said. “You don’t need to apologize. Yes, I think both Chaol and I both would have appreciated it, but you don’t owe us anything. But I wish we could have been there for you.”

Aelin nodded, looking down at the table where her hands were crossed. She pulled them off the table and into her lap as they started shaking. “There’s more. Another reason I realized I didn’t hide from you guys anymore, no matter how awkward it would be to have to explain everything.”

She looked up and held her chin high as she pulled the ultrasound picture out of her pocket. She saw Lysandra sit up abruptly out of the corner of her eye and could hear her intake of breath. She hadn’t told them she was getting her first scan today.

Aelin watched as Chaol and Dorian sat forward to get a better look at the picture. Their jaws went slack when they realized what it was. Their eyes shot up to Aelin’s.

“I’m twelve weeks pregnant today,” she said.

“Shit, A,” Dorian breathed. His face broke out in a huge grin. “That’s amazing!” He hesitated. “It is amazing, right? You’re happy?”

This time Aelin didn’t try to hide her smile as her eyes fell back onto the photo. “Yes,” she breathed. “I’m very happy.”

“I’m so angry you didn’t tell me you got your scan today,” Lysandra said, picking up the ultrasound picture. “But I’m so happy for you, Aelin. Does this mean I can finally start buying baby things?”

Aelin laughed and shook her head. “Soon. Not quite yet.”

Lysandra huffed in annoyance but the smile didn’t leave her face as she handed it to Aedion. She saw the tears well up in his eyes but he didn’t say anything as he handed it back. She knew that would come when they had a moment alone. Neither of them were fans of crying in public.

“I have to ask,” Dorian finally said, his eyes darting to Rowan and back to Aelin. “But who’s the father?”

“Why is that important?” Aelin asked. She knew this question was going to come but gods, she really didn’t want to explain how it had happened to them.

“Because you just told us that you lost your shit after you found out you couldn’t get pregnant, then tell us that by some miracle you are, and you brought your ‘friend’,” Dorian used air quotes for the word friend, “to my party. One can only assume.”

Aelin opened her mouth, trying to think of an excuse to deny it, when Lysandra chimed in. “No, don’t you dare, Aelin. I know you’re going to try and come up with some lame excuse so you can save yourself the embarrassment, so let me do it for you.” She turned to everyone else. “Aelin needed to get laid so I took her to a club where she fucked Rowan in the bathroom.”

Rowan choked on his beer and flushed while Aelin cried in outrage, “Lysandra!”

She threw her hands up. “What?” she said. “It’s true and I don’t want any more secrets.”

Rowan chuckled. “She’s not wrong.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to agree with her,” Aelin said in exasperation, swatting his muscled arm. Rowan chuckled again and grabbed her hands in his to get her to stop hitting.

Chaol spoke this time. “So you two are just friends?”

She could see the questions in his eyes. That he could see that answer for the lie it was. Before she might have interpreted it as him being jealous. But she could see how relaxed he seemed around Yrene, their hands still intertwined. She could see now that they had both moved forward and were maybe at the point where they could try to be friends again.

“For now, yes,” Rowan answered for her. Aelin’s head whipped in his direction.

Choal looked at Rowan for a beat before he nodded. He smiled. “I’m happy for you guys. This is really great, Aelin.”

Aelin looked back at Rowan and smiled, her hand smoothing over her stomach for the thousandth time that day. “Yes, it really is.”

—–

Rowan walked Aelin back to her apartment door. They got to her door and Aelin unlocked it but made no move to open it. She wasn’t quite ready to say goodnight yet.

“What did you mean when you said that we’re just friends ‘for now’?” she asked.

Rowan smiled slightly, lifting a hand to tuck some hair behind her ear. His fingers grazed against her cheek and her eyes fluttered at the small touch.

“I meant,” he rumbled, “that I know we agreed to get to know each other and take things slow for the sake of our baby. But I also had every intention of asking you out on a date tonight.”

Aelin didn’t think she was breathing. “And now?” 

“And now,” he said, stepping closer so they were sharing breath, “ that I still have every intention of doing just that. So, would you want to go out on a date with me tomorrow night?”

Aelin had to tilt her head up to look him in the eye. She could see the mischief dancing there. But she could also see the hope there.

Aelin smiled at him. “I’d love to.”

Rowan’s eyes dropped to her lips and she tracked the movement. She saw a slight blush grace his cheeks and he swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing. She tracked that movement too.

So she leaned up on her toes and let her lips graze his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, Buzzard.”

Rowan let out a breathy chuckle that had Aelin involuntarily leaning into his warmth. She felt his hand gently grasp her hip and she pulled back. She flashed him another dazzling smile and winked at him before she opened the door and stepped inside, shutting the door in his face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is probably more than half smut, haha. I might have gotten a bit carried away. You’ve been warned. Enjoy. ;)

Chapter 4:  
The doorbell rang just as Aelin was finishing up her make-up. She leaned back and gave herself a onceover in the mirror. She couldn’t stop the satisfied smirk that spread across her face at what stared back at her.

Aelin had chosen a black form-fitting dress with a plunging V of a neckline that stopped just beneath her breasts. She spun around and took in the back and her smirk grew wider. The dress stopped at mid-thigh and had a slit up one side that rode dangerously high. There was a golden dragon snaking across the back, the tail of it accentuating the curve of her ass.

She had chosen to do a smokey eye with gold accents and chose a nude lipstick to bring everything together. Her hair was left to fall in soft waves over her shoulders.

Damn, she looked good. 

Aelin hurried to the front door and slid on her black pumps and before she swung it open.

She watched, with no little satisfaction, as Rowan’s eyes widened and traveled down her body, getting caught on the deep neckline and the curve of her breasts and hips. His eyes snapped back up to hers and a beautiful blush crept across his cheeks as he cleared his throat and stretched out his arm to hand her the flowers he was holding.

“You look very beautiful, Aelin,” Rowan said, his voice thick. He cleared his throat.

Aelin felt a blush of her own heat her face as she took the flowers from his outstretched arm. “Thank you.”

Rowan stepped into her apartment as Aelin went to the kitchen to put away the flowers. She could hear his breath catch as he took in the back of her dress but he said nothing.

She came back to where Rowan stood and leaned up on her tiptoes to graze a kiss across his cheek. “You look very handsome, too,” she said as she moved to put on her coat.

Rowan smiled, his own eyes dancing with mischief. He reached towards her and helped slide her coat over her shoulders. She suppressed a shiver as his fingers grazed her collarbone.

She locked the door behind them and they walked down the stairs to Rowan’s car. Once they were seated inside, where it was luckily still warmed from his drive over, Aelin sighed and nestled in.

“So, where are you taking me? Or is it going to be a surprise all night?”

Rowan glanced over at her as he pulled out of the parking lot. “What, can’t handle surprises?”

Aelin leaned forward. “I love surprises. But I think we’ve both had enough to last us a life-time,” she said, smoothing her hand affectionately over her barely visible bump.

Rowan smiled before saying, “I thought we could go to one of my favorite restaurants in town and then we could go back to my place and put on a movie. I rented Isn’t it Romantic. I know you really wanted to see it.”

“Sexy and romantic?” Aelin fanned herself. “Be still this heart of mine!”

He laughed, the sound full and happy. He looked at her and shook his head, a smile still playing on his lips.

They pulled up at the restaurant and Rowan helped her out of the car. Aelin frowned as she looked at the little building. Rowan had taken her to a pub.

Upon seeing her expression, Rowan hesitated. “They have the best Irish food in town. I thought I could show you some of the food we have in Ireland…” he trailed off as he looked back at the pub, his face falling.

Aelin swatted his chest before she started walking towards the door, throwing a smile over her shoulder. “I’m excited to try it. If the Irishman says it's good, then it must be good!”

Rowan followed suit but still didn’t look convinced. 

They entered and waited for the hostess to seat them. They were brought back to a dimly lit booth in a corner.

Rowan helped Aelin with her coat again and Aelin felt her heart swell. She knew it was probably cheesy, but she missed somebody taking care of her. She was always a “do-it-yourself” kind of girl until she and Sam had started living together. She had never let go of that part of herself when she was with Chaol.

They sat across from each other and started looking over the menu. Rowan kept glancing up at her and Aelin finally set down her menu and looked at him. His silver hair shone brightly in the dim light and the sharp line of his jaw was accentuated from the shadows. 

Aelin gave him a smile and announced to him, “I’m going to let you choose for me. ‘Cause I have no clue what is good and isn’t.”

Rowan finally set down his own menu and held her gaze before he looked away and blew out a breath. “This place probably wasn’t the best idea for a first date, was it?”

Something softened in Aelin’s heart at his defeated expression. She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “It was definitely not what I was expecting. But,” she shook her head as she continued. “You wanted to show me a bit of where you came from, where you called home for so long. And I love that.”

Rowan seemed to relax a bit at her words and squeezed her hand in return. 

The rest of dinner went smoother. Rowan ordered food for both of them and they talked and joked back and forth. They ate their dinner and Aelin loved it so much she couldn’t help but swipe food from Rowan’s plate too. He chuckled as her fork came stabbing a potato on his plate for the fifth time.

After dinner they got back in the car and drove to Rowan’s place. They climbed the stairs to his door and entered. Aelin had only been to his place a couple of times compared to how often he was at hers. 

His place was clean and everything was tidy and neat. The front door opened up to the living room, the kitchen directly behind that with a hall that led to two bedrooms and a bathroom. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Rowan asked as he made his way into the kitchen.

“I’ll take a water,” Aelin said. She followed him, leaving her coat and shoes by the door. She watched Rowan’s eyes narrow in on the slit of her dress. She felt her blood heat as his eyes travelled back up her body before he quickly looked away and reached into the fridge for a bottle of water.

Aelin made a show of leaning turning around, pretending to take in the apartment, making sure he could see every curve of hers the dress showed off.

She heard a click and looked at Rowan over her shoulder to find him holding the camera that was sitting on the counter. She flashed him a dazzling smile and he snapped another as she turned around. 

“Do you normally dress this way for first dates?” Rowan asked, watching her with amusement. 

“Not normally. When I go to clubs, yes. But we’ve kinda passed most firsts so I figured it would do.” She turned and walked towards him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

Rowan set down the water and camera on the kitchen island and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry I ruined the beginning of our date. I guess I didn’t think through it very well when I decided to take the pregnant mother of my child to a pub.”

Aelin threw her head back and laughed. “No, you weren't. But it’s okay because I rather enjoyed the food.” She couldn’t help it when her eyes fell to his lips. She bit her own bottom lip and looked away, heat rising to her cheeks. 

Rowan leaned forward and brushed his nose across her jaw. He inhaled her scent as his arms tightened their hold around her waist and she leaned into the feeling of him. 

“I normally don’t do this either on a first date,” she whispered as she grazed her lips against his. She heard his breath hitch as he repeated her gesture before gently pressing his to hers in a soft kiss.

Aelin parted her lips and Rowan groaned as he deepened the kiss. She slid her hands into his hair and lightly scratched at his scalp as she felt his hands slide lower. Aelin moaned and pressed her body into his, losing herself in the kiss.

They broke apart to catch their breaths and Aelin smirked as Rowan moved forward until her backside was against the counter. Aelin leaned into his touch and grazed her lips against his ear. He shivered at the small touch.

“As badly as I want to do this, we won’t if you aren’t ready,” Rowan said, leaning back and searching her eyes. “This is our first date and I don’t want to push-”

He broke off as Aelin pressed her lips and body against his again. She kissed him again, slowly, before she leaned back and smiled up at him. “I do want this. And not just what’s about to happen.” She waved a hand between them. “I want… I want all of this. The dates, the relationship, all of it.” Aelin trailed off into a whisper as she let the words hang between them.

The desire on Rowan’s face softened into what looked like affection. Tenderness. He reached a hand up and cupped her face, leaning forward to rest their foreheads together. “I want it all too, Aelin.” He pressed another soft kiss to her lips to accentuate his point. 

Aelin felt her heart swell and leaned back into his touch. Where their kisses were heated before, they were now gentle and exploratory. Rowan’s hands returned to her hips and he lifted her up onto the counter. Aelin shimmied her dress up a little bit so she could open her legs for him to stand between. His fingers trailed down her hip to her thigh as their kisses deepened again and he pulled away in surprise.

This time Aelin smiled wickedly at Rowan, leaning back into the counters to watch the blush that spread across his face. “Aelin, are you not wearing underwear?”

“You saw how tight this dress is, right? How far up that slit goes? It would show every line. So I skipped it.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively at him. “Besides, I was hoping there wouldn’t be any need for them tonight.”

Rowan choked on a laugh, his eyes darkening again as he took her in before him. Her lips were swollen and pink from his kisses and her hair was messy from his fingers, her legs still on either side of him. He leaned forward and captured her lips in another heated kiss, hitching her legs up around his hips.

She gasped for breath as he trailed his kisses down her jaw, across the expanse of skin exposed from the plunging neckline. She groaned as his hand slid up to her breasts and brushed the underside. His other hand came up her shoulder and gently eased down one of the straps of her dress before doing the same to the other side. She threw her head back as he nibbled at her throat, his tongue darting out and leaving fire in its wake. 

He pushed her dress further down until it was pooled around her waist, her nipples peeking from the sudden chill. Rowan groaned at the sight of her and brushed his hands across the underside of her breast again, trailing them up to gently circle her nipple. Aelin let out a breathy sound as he continued teasing, his tongue still making its way down her chest. He placed a gentle kiss to the top of each breast and looked up at her to make sure the touches were welcome. 

Aelin had mentioned to him at one point that her breasts were super sore and painful. She smiled down at him as her heart swelled with happiness that he even remembered. She gave him a lazy smile and arched further into his touch.

She gasped as he wrapped his lips around her nipple, his tongue darting out and sending heat straight to her core. Her hands flew up into his hair as he continued his movements. He switched breasts and his hand quickly replaced where his mouth had once been, gently kneading. 

Aelin tugged Rowan back up by his hair, sick of her breasts getting all the attention, and brought his lips back to hers in a clash of teeth and tongue.

Aelin lifted her hips off the counter as he tugged it up her body, breaking away from him so he could drag it over her head. He hooked his hands under her thighs and picked her up. A small squeal escaped Aelin as she wrapped her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck. Rowan chuckled as he kissed her again, making his way to the bedroom.

He set Aelin down in the middle of the bed and pulled back to look at her. Aelin smirked, trying for bravado under his intense gaze. He opened her legs slightly and laid her hands above her head so her back arched slightly, her hair splayed around. 

“You’re so beautiful, Aelin,” Rowan murmured, crawling onto the bed after her. She felt her cheeks heat at the compliment.

“You have too many clothes on,” Aelin grumbled, kissing his neck as she tried to remove his shirt. He chuckled and pulled it over his head. He tossed it to the ground and Aelin wasn’t able to fight back the groan she let out at the sight of that muscled chest. It was the first time she had seen him shirtless and he looked every bit as good as she had imagined.

She dragged her fingers down his chest as he settled over her, resuming their heated kisses. She explored every inch of his chest, savoring the feel of the muscles beneath her fingertips.

Rowan kissed his way down her body. He placed the most tender of kisses across her stomach before he settled between her thighs. Aelin’s breath hitched as he kissed the inside of both thighs, teeth grazing the soft flesh lightly. He looked her in the eye as he grazed next to her core with his nose, memories of her on her knees looking him in the eye as she took him in her mouth flashing back to her. A smirk formed on Rowan’s mouth and she knew he was remembering it too.

“Hmm, you know,” he hummed against her and Aelin’s hips jerked in response, “that for the longest time I couldn’t stop thinking about our first time together. I still can’t actually.”

Aelin squeezed her eyes shut and tried to steady her breathing. Gods, he hadn’t even touched her yet and she was ready to explode. 

“Did you think about it?”

She opened her eyes and looked down at him between her legs, his arms wrapped around each one so her knees were on his shoulders. “Yes,” she breathed. “I thought about this too. Thought about it and wished it was you and not my hand.”

Rowan groaned deep in his throat, hips grinding against the bed, as he finally licked up her core. Aelin cried out, fingers tangling in his hair and throwing her head back. He wrapped his lips around her apex and flicked his tongue over it repeatedly. His fingers slid through her slick folds, playing with her entrance.

Aelin whimpered, grinding her hips against Rowan’s face, trying to get more pressure, to get those fingers where she so desperately wanted them. She felt him chuckle against her, the sound sending shocks of pleasure through her. He finally slid a finger into her, and a guttural moan tore itself from her throat. 

He pumped into her slowly, adding a second finger as he went. Aelin could barely breathe as she felt her orgasm quickly approaching. His other hand slid up her body to grasp her breast as his teeth grazed her apex and stars exploded behind Aelin’s eyes. As she came down from the bliss of her climax, Rowan withdrew his fingers, dragging them over her sensitive nub before crawling back up her body.

Rowan pressed a kiss to her lips, teeth dragging over her bottom lip. Aelin arched into his body, savoring the feel of the skin touching. She reached down and palmed him through his pants and his hand gripped her hip as he moaned, leaving a wet print on her skin.

She unbuckled his pants, keeping eye contact as she slid her hands into the waistband of his pants. She sighed at the feel of him in her palm, the sound of his hiss of pleasure like music to her ears. He made quick work of removing his pants and briefs, and Aelin laid back and admired the view.

Rowan knelt between her knees and gave her another gentle kiss. “You still want to do this?”

She could feel how hard he was from where his length pressed against her thigh, could feel it throbbing with need. She could feel her own core echo in return even after her climax. So she returned his kiss and cupped his face in her hands. “Yes, more than anything.”

Rowan deepened their kiss and hooked her leg over his arm as he slid in in rocking motions. He let her adjust with each slow thrust until he was buried inside of her. He stilled and placed gentle kisses on her lips, cheeks, nose, eyelids, until she began moving her own hips. 

He chuckled and pulled back agonizingly slowly, going just as slow as he thrust back in. He worked up the rhythm, Aelin moving her hips in time with his as his thrusts became more and more rough. She gasped and ran her nails down his back as he wrapped her legs around his back, his own hand tangled in the sheets by her head.

Aelin pushed against Rowan’s chest until he was on his back and she settled on top of him, sliding down and sheathing him inside her. She placed her hands against his chest and started rocking back and forth, moaning as he gripped her hips and thrust up to meet her movements. She could feel her second climax of the night quickly approaching and could tell Rowan’s was close as well.

Aelin moaned Rowan’s name as release barreled through her. Rowan flipped them over again, pounding into her relentlessly, fingers tangling in her hair. “How do you want me to finish?” Rowan managed to get out, biting her shoulder as she rocked her hips against him.

“Come in me. I want to feel you come in me,” Aelin managed to gasp, holding on for dear life as she continued to ride out her orgasm, coaxing his own from him. She felt his cock throb as he came, his warmth filling her as he moaned her name, his hips stuttering in their thrusts.

They caught their breath, foreheads pressed together. Eventually Rowan pulled out of her and rolled to lay on his back next to her and Aelin immediately missed the contact. As if he read her thoughts, Rowan pulled her towards him so she was curled up against his side, her head resting on his chest and his arm wrapped around her.

Rowan trailed his fingers along her sides and Aelin looked up at him. His green eyes were bright with an emotion she couldn’t read. He placed a gentle kiss against her lips and they laid that way for a while, just enjoying the feel of one another.

Later Rowan got up and put on the movie on the tv in his room and they drifted off to sleep, holding each other.

\----

Aelin awoke to the smell of pancakes cooking. She sighed as she stirred awake, taking a second to remember where she was. She burrowed further into the pillows, a smile spreading across her face, as she remembered. 

She and Rowan had gone on a date and had sex last night. Mind-blowing, amazing sex. She turned over and found the bed empty, so she got up and picked up Rowan’s shirt from last night off the floor. She didn’t feel like putting the dress back on.

She slid it on and headed for the kitchen. Rowan was standing at the stove in a pair of gray sweats and Aelin suppressed her moan at the sight. This man was like a walking wet dream.

As if he sensed her, Rowan looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. A smile that bloomed warmth through her and had her walking over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He turned and settled his own arms around her and rested his cheek on top of her head.

They stood like that for a second before Rowan lifted her face with a finger under her chin and placed a kiss on her lips. “Good morning,” Rowan rumbled, placing another kiss to her lips.

Aelin smiled against his mouth. “Good morning to you too.”

Rowan turned back to the stove and put the pancake on a plate before shutting it off. He turned back to Aelin and he looked her up and down, admiring the way his shirt hung on her body, just barely covering her underwear. Or where her underwear would have been if she had worn any.

“I like the way my shirt looks on you.”

“I like the way it looks on me too,” she said, toying with the hem. Rowan smirked and lifted her another small sound escaping her at the feeling of being lifted. He set her down on the island and glanced down before looking her in the eye.

“Can I... Can I feel your belly?” he asked hesitantly.

Aelin pulled back in surprise and looked at him. She realized she had never asked him if he wanted to feel. Hadn’t thought about it since the bump wasn’t that big. He had only kissed her stomach last night too. Hadn’t tried to place his hand on it. 

Her heart swelled and she placed a tender kiss to his lips. He didn’t want to push her and was letting her decide when she was okay with him touching her body. So she picked up his hand and placed it against her stomach.

She watched him as he looked down at her barely there bump in awe, smoothing his giant hand across it. She saw silver line his eyes as he smiled. He bent down and placed a kiss to her belly. 

“Hi, baby,” he whispered.

Tears fell down her own cheeks and he looked up at her, their smiles mirrored on each other's faces.

Rowan stood to his full height again and wiped her cheeks with the pad of his thumb and kissed her again. She didn’t think she would ever tire of that.

“Now let's eat,” he said. “I’m starving.”

Aelin flashed Rowan a wicked smile as she pulled him back to her by the waistband of his pants. “So I am,” she said, kissing him and letting him lay her down on the counter. 

As Rowan knelt in front of her again, she thought that she wanted to live in this moment, this happiness, forever.


End file.
